It is four months today since we watched your heart beat it's last beat and since I felt your last kick. Four months since we simultaneously kissed you 'hello' and 'goodbye'. We love you and we miss you so much Gracie Face.
It's hard for us to envisage what you would have been like today, what milestones you would have achieved. We wish we knew what you would look like, sound like, feel like. It's so hard to contemplate what our lives would have been like with you physically present. Would we be grumpy from a lack of sleep and frustrated because we can't console you when you cry? Would we be asking ourselves "what were we thinking? - this is so damn hard!" Would we be getting frustrated with you - innocent you, who never asked to be brought into the world?
Or would we be grateful? Grateful that you were born alive, kicking and screaming and that you were growing and healthy? I like to think that we would be so profoundly grateful. But I don't know, Gracie Face, I just don't know.
What I am certain of is that we are forever grateful and blessed for the short time that you were with us. As much as we are poorer and empty from your absence, we are richer and fuller from having you in our lives. Our hearts and minds swell with love and pride for you, our precious little girl.
This song reminds us of you Gracie. Wherever you are, we hope that you are content and happy (and missing us as much as we miss you!)
When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it blew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
And dreamed of paradise, paradise, paradise
Every time she closed her eyes
We hope that you have found your Paradise.
Love you always,
Mom and Dad