My friend A’s son was delivered via c-section this morning. The same friend with countless pregnancy problems who, about 8 weeks after Grace died, sat across a dinner table from me, cigarette in one hand, glass of wine in the other and told everyone how she wished her pregnancy were over because ‘it’s just inconvenient’.
Yesterday, I texted her and her husband and wished them well for today. They said thanks and that they would definitely keep us posted. But, as yet, no-one has actually texted or called me to tell me that everything went ok. The only reason I know it did, is because another friend called my husband about something else and he asked after them.
Why are people so scared to talk to me? Since that episode 8 weeks out, I’ll admit that I haven't wanted to see A. She is not one to censor, and I am (understandably I think) sensitive. But I did and still do want to know how her and her son are doing. In the lead up to today I had asked her how she was more than once, but in most cases she didn’t even bother to reply. I spent last night hoping the biggest volumes of hope that everything would go well for them, and that there would be no complications. I think I have made the best effort that I can, given our circumstances. But yet I still don’t get the courtesy of a text, not even from our other friends, letting me know how they are doing. It hurts.
Oh, it hurts so much!!! I always have such conflicting emotions, of course I want other people's babies to be born healthy, but then there is always so much jealousy and sadness when they are :( Sorry you are going through this, and it sounds like your friend has no idea how to be a true friend to you through this. They may think they are protecting you, but I always want as much information as possible, then time to process it on my own.
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